Parents from hundreds of years ago, and from every part of the planet, knew one thing they must teach to their children. They all knew that teaching their own children to tell the truth, and to always tell the truth, was the right thing to do. Or do you know anyone who taught their children to tell the truth only some of the time? I hope you will say none. No parents bring home their newborn baby from the hospital, and say, “We are going to teach our baby to tell the truth only sometimes.” I remember my parents taught my sister and me when we were very small, to always tell the truth. When I became a father, I too remember teaching my own children it was never okay to tell a lie, and read them stories from Dr. Seuss, the Berenstain Bears, and Curious George books about honesty. It doesn’t matter what kind of household where we grew up, no parents set out to teach their children to tell the truth only sometimes.
Lying is “making an untrue statement with the intent to deceive.” All of us know it is not right to lie. It is not good to lie. Lying is a sin. God is not pleased when we lie, because he says so in the Bible.
Leviticus 19.11
You shall not steal, nor deal falsely, nor lie to one another.
Proverbs 12.22
Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD,
But those who deal faithfully are His delight.
But even though the Bible teaches us it is never acceptable to lie, and our parents taught us that lying is an abomination to our God, some of us still do it. None of us would be caught telling the kind of lies that we know God would call sin. We will not tell the kind of lies with the intention to deceive someone and hurt him or her, or tell the kind of lies to cheat or profit from someone. We will not tell those kinds of lies. But we will tell the other kind. We will tell a lie when we say to someone that our phone has been acting weird lately, and we didn’t get their message. We will tell a lie when we compliment on someone’s cooking and ask for the recipe, even though we have no intention of ever using it. We will tell a lie when we make up an excuse to not attend a birthday party we don’t wish to attend. We will tell the kind of lies that we have decided that they are not sin. Some lies can be justified, we say.
We say to each other telling a lie is not always selfish. Sometimes, telling a lie benefits people on both sides. It is a win-win situation. It spares a person from having to do something very hard, very uncomfortable, or very awkward. It also prevents the other person from getting hurt. It is much more pleasant, for people on both sides, if we just lied. Sometimes, lying is the only right thing to do. Lying works. When we lie, we are speaking lies out of love. But there is just one problem. The Bible says we are never to do that. Read it again. It says we are to speak the truth in love to one another.
Ephesians 4.14–16
As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming; but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.
You see, I used to lie, a lot. Lying was a way of life for me. I lied to my parents and my friends about smaller things. But I lied about larger things too. It didn’t matter what my parents and my teachers taught me. To me, lying was convenient and useful. Lying got me out of uncomfortable situations. Lying worked.
Then many years later, one day, I came to know the Truth about our God, and his purpose for my life. I don’t remember from where or from whom, but I learned quickly that lying, any form of lying, was unacceptable in God’s eyes. White lies, black lies, gray lies, blue lies, red lies, you name it. That opened my eyes. For a person who lied whenever it was convenient, and who lied regularly, I knew instantly this was going to be quite a challenge. But thanks be to God (and it surprised me too) that I was determined to learn how to do this. I didn’t learn it overnight. I made many mistakes along the way. But I kept trying. In the mornings, I prayed to God I wanted to learn this. I wanted to be above reproach with my tongue, and stop lying altogether. I would not stop until I got it.
Psalms 15.2
He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness,
And speaks truth in his heart.
Zechariah 8.16
These are the things which you should do: speak the truth to one another; judge with truth and judgment for peace in your gates.
Ephesians 4.25
Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another.