I’ve done lots of pre-marriage counseling over the years, and I have always enjoyed it. Of course, I have done weddings for people who were all ages. Pre-marriage visits are always enjoyable and the couples are always ‘giddy’ about getting married no matter what age they are. I think the oldest couple I did a wedding for were in the 80’s… and yes, they were delightfully giddy and behaved just like high school kids all over again. It’s pretty fun and very delightful.
But let me focus for a moment on those young couples that I have sat down with over a period of several visits. The reason they are about to get married is that they have decided strongly that they want to live out their days with this person by their side. Now, I have a bit of a ‘formula’ that I use when I walk a couple through pre-wedding counseling. It involves awareness of one another’s habits, background, expectations, etc. It really is fun to watch it unfold. But for these young couples who are about to get married, there is always a sense of newfound freedom that marriage will bring to them. Almost always they feel like this marriage will be lived out like an eternal vacation – a world exploration — that they can now do with their new love — unhindered and arm in arm. It’s like a forever honeymoon vacation and it’s beautiful!
Without bursting their bubble or crushing their ideal dream life, I always bring it to the conversation of two new realities and changes they must face:
#1: In a Covenant Marriage, they will have to alter many expectations because you now share everything with this new spouse.
#2: The possibility of having children in this new home will alter everything!
Here’s what I tell them… sharing a life with this person you have fallen in love with is NOT really the hard part of a marriage. The hardest and most life altering thing that happens is if God blesses you to have a child enter in. In my strong opinion… that’s when changes really happen! That’s when life gets upended. That’s when I must alter my goals, my time, my money, my energy, and my purposes in life. That small 6 pound package of a newborn alters everything!!!
I will be bringing the message this Sunday on this 3rd Sunday of Advent, and I will be looking at Joseph’s story. Joseph of course was the man engaged to Mary when Mary found out she was pregnant by the Holy Spirit and would give birth to the Messiah. Of course this was an incredible challenge for Mary, but the angel had to visit Joseph, the man she was engaged to, and bring this incredible message. You want to talk about a total change in the trajectory of your life! That’s what Joseph had do to. His life was now altered forever, not just because a child was coming, but the Savior was coming in a way that had never happened before and hasn’t happened since. This Sunday, I challenge you to read the announcement story to Joseph in Matthew 1:18-25 as you prepare to come to worship with the family of LifeWay. This is our 3rd Sunday of Advent, and Joseph’s story is our focus. See you Sunday.
