Do you have a friend whom you would call a humble person? Why do you think this way? If I asked you how would you define humility, what would you say?
Sometimes, I feel it is easier to begin to define humility by saying what it is not. Humility is not thinking too highly of ourselves. Paul wrote, “For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think.” To think too highly of ourselves is to be proud, arrogant or haughty. We have to remind ourselves we are not all that. It is not about us, so why do we think it is about us?
But humility is not thinking too lowly of ourselves either. It is not thinking we are not any good, and that others are better than us. It is not thinking we are small or weak. It is not having low confidence or a low opinion of ourselves. It is not thinking we know less than what we know, or thinking we can do less than what we can do. When Jesus “made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant,” this didn’t mean at all he pretended to be less than who he was. It didn’t mean he pretended he was less than God. Some of us who think too lowly of ourselves have what experts call false humility. False humility is being proud in our humility. False humility is not humility. Clergyman Robert Burton wrote, “They are proud in humility; proud in that they are not proud.” Being proud in our humility is not hard to do. I know.
If humility is not thinking too highly or not thinking too lowly of ourselves, then what is it? The dictionary defines humility as being “lowly, modest, and unpretentious.” C.S. Lewis said it this way: “Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.” Having humility is living every day knowing we don’t have it all together. Even when we are at the top of our game, whatever game it is, we know we have not yet reached the top. There is always much more to grow or know. There is always room for us to be more humble. One can never be too humble. William Law wrote, “You can have no greater sign of confirmed pride than when you think you are humble enough.”
The Bible describes humility as “meekness,” “lowliness,” and “absence of self.” Romans 12:16 says, “Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.” Jesus described humility in another way. He said that those who are “poor in spirit” would have the kingdom of heaven. He was saying only those who are completely spiritually bankrupt will inherit eternal life. In my opinion, understanding what is humility ought to come easier to Christians because we are the ones who know who God is and who we are. God is the Holy One, and we are not. When we have humility, we say in our hearts we lack complete inability to save ourselves. God is the Maker, and we are not. When we have humility, we agree with our minds that everything we have is a gift from God. Where then is anyone’s boast?
A person who has humility is not interested in appearances. Appearance can deceive. It is possible to put on the optics of humility, but still have zero humility. We can show humility and still have a heart full of pride and arrogance. God does not ask us to appear humble in the sight of others. Anyone knows how to do that. God asks us to humble ourselves in the sight of the Lord, who sees everything into the condition of the heart. Humility is, therefore, a question we ask to the heart.